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Kaworu Nagisa's Avatar
Kaworu Nagisa @kaworu
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Pain is something man must carry in his heart, and since the heart feels pain so easily, some believe that life is pain.

Shelves

溺死 desert sand feels warm at night
Drawing Down The Moon Beherit
Sugar World jonatan leandoer96
Psykos Yung Lean
Serial Experiments Lain 1998
Requiem for a Dream 2000
Hackers 1995
August in the Water 1995

Posts

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I saw your girl last night, Ratz said, passing Case his second Kirin. I don't have one, he said, and drank.
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He kept something for himself and tried to move it through a fence in Amsterdam. He still wasn't sure how he'd been discovered, not that it mattered now. He'd expected to die, then, but they only smiled.
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He took it, let her light it with a red plastic tube. You sleep in' okay, Case? You look tired. Her accent put her south along the Sprawl, toward Atlanta.
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For Case, who'd lived for the bodiless exultation of cyberspace, it was the Fall. In the bars he'd frequented as a cowboy hotshot, the elite stance involved a certain relaxed contempt for the flesh. The body was meat.
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Ratz? You been talking to Ratz? No.
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A year here and he still dreamed of cyberspace, hope fading nightly. All the speed he took, all the turns he'd taken and the corners he'd cut in Night City, and still he'd see the matrix in his sleep, bright lattices of logic unfolding across that colorless void.... The Sprawl was a long strange way home over the Pacific now, and he was no console man, no cyberspace cowboy. Just another hustler, trying to make it through.
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Synonymous with implants, nerve-splicing, and micro bionics, Chiba was a magnet for the Sprawl's techno-criminal subcultures.
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Zone, he's a close personal friend of mine. She looked Case in the eye and made the softest possible spitting sound, her lips barely moving. But she left. Jesus, Case said, what kind a creep joint you running here?
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But the dreams came on in the Japanese night like live wire voodoo and he'd cry for it, cry in his sleep, and wake alone in the dark, curled in his capsule in some coffin hotel, his hands clawed into the bedslab, temper foam bunched between his fingers, trying to reach the console that wasn't there.
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And he was going to need it. Because-still smiling-they were going to make sure he never worked again. They damaged his nervous system with a wartime Russian mycotoxin. Strapped to a bed in a Memphis hotel, his talent burning out micron by micron, he hallucinated for thirty hours.
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Case was twenty-four.
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It was a Russian military prosthesis, a seven-function force-feedback manipulator, cased in grubby pink plastic. You are too much the artiste, Herr Case. Ratz grunted; the sound served him as laughter. He scratched his overhang of white-shirted belly with the pink claw.
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Stop hustling and you sank without a trace, but move a little too swiftly and you'd break the fragile surface tension of the black market; either way, you were gone, with nothing left of you but some vague memory in the mind of a fixture like Ratz, though heart or lungs or kidneys might survive in the service of some stranger with New Yen for the clinic tanks. Biz here was a constant subliminal hum, and death the accepted punishment for laziness, carelessness, lack of grace, the failure to heed the demands of an intricate protocol. Alone at a table in the Jarre de The, with the octagon coming on, pinheads of sweat starting from his palms, suddenly aware of each tingling hair on his arms and chest, Case knew that at some point he'd started to play a game with himself, a very ancient one that has no name, a final solitaire.
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The bartender's smile widened. His ugliness was the stuff of legend.
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Her dark hair was drawn back, held by a band of printed silk. The pattern might have represented microcircuits, or a city map.
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He was riding high that night, with a brick of Wage's ketamine on its way to Yokohama and the money already in his pocket. He'd come in out of the warm rain that sizzled across the Ninsei pavement and somehow she'd been singled out for him, one face out of the dozens who stood at the consoles, lost in the game she played. The expression on her face, then, had been the one he'd seen, hours later, on her sleeping face in a port side coffin, her upper lip like the line children draw to represent a bird in flight.
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With the dex mounting through his spine he saw the countless random impacts required to create a surface like that. The Jarre was decorated in a dated, nameless style from the previous century, an uneasy blend of Japanese traditional and pale Milanese plastics, but everything seemed to wear a subtle film, as though the bad nerves of a million customers had somehow attacked the mirrors and the once glossy plastics, leaving each surface fogged with something that could never be wiped away. Hey.